Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
