I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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