We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
