the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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