Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
