My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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