chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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