well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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