Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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