No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
