I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
