Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
