We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
