I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize