best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize