I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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