I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
