this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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