He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
