That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
