so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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