did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i think my tv is drunk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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