if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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