i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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