Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
