i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
