Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
