State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
