I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
