I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
