Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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