do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
