So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
