it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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