you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is the high leading the old right now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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