she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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