I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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