I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
