Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
