I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I need water and some morals
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
