hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
