the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
