he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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