Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
