My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
