just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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