Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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