i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Be still, my beating vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
