I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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