i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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