FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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