home. puking in laundry basket.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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