Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
