i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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