I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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