I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
