Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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