he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
